Hello everyone! I hope this all finds you happy and well! We are doing well over here, tired but well praise God! It has been 3 weeks of radiation so far, so that means that I am officially half way through!! I am feeling okay, very tired and a bit nauseous but that is okay. The kids are all re-cooperating from those terrible colds that have been going around so radiation or not Chris and I would be exhausted! The kids have been up a lot at night with not feeling well with the terrible coughs at nighttime so when I fall asleep on the radiation table they just laugh at me, and say only a mother with young children is one who falls asleep on that table with all the noise and beeping! I laugh and tell them I could sleep on a rock at this point!
I hate to countdown, as with counting down days are going by and time is going by; time where our girls are growing and changing so much each day, and yet I am counting down to when this radiation time is through. I want to hold on to all of the precious times and fast-forward through all of the hard, tired, yucky-feeling times, and yet I know we cannot. I know it is all part of His plan. God tells us in His word that “In this world you will have trouble, but fear not, for I have overcome the world.” (Johh 16;33 ) On the days when I get frustrated and impatient; on the days where my kids are whiny and sick and more clingy than I can handle; on the days where Chris and I don’t even have a second to look at each other before we collapse at night- I have to remind myself that I should not be surprised by these hard times but expect them, and then I can feel assured. I can remember that this too, is all part of God’s plan and that He hears my every prayer, my every cry out to Him for help, my every heavy sigh, and I know that He is with me. He has never left me, and He will not.
So I am counting down right now, and have looked back recently at what these past 17 months have brought us. My girls have grown and changed so much it is unreal! Time does that when they are so little and learning and changing so much! They are amazing and exhausting all in the same breath! And yet I am so blessed to have been able to stay home and raise them these past 7 years. I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby and had an emergency appendectomy when I was 7 months pregnant. We did not know if we were having a boy or a girl and the surgeon who performed my surgery said it was a miracle that I made it as well as our baby. I remember feeling so blessed and relieved, and again after having a pulmonary embolism a few days after my surgery we felt another wave of God’s pure love and mercy upon us. We chose then to name our baby Faith if it were a girl or Noah if it were a boy. Then two months later when our little Faith was born we rejoiced and I could not handle the thought of leaving this little blessing and going back to work! We had saved enough to stay home for what we thought would be one year, and yet here we are 7 years later only by God’s grace and I am still home! So I know I am blessed to be able to have this opportunity to be with them and raise them and see them each day as they grow. And I hate to count down for things because it means that this precious time we are granted is just going and going, and our girls are getting bigger and bigger and with that more independent. So on those nights where they just want us to cuddle with them until they fall asleep, or sing them just one more sing, or hold them a little longer, I try and remember that the days are going by and it will not always be like this. They will not always want mommy to hold them and cuddle them and be with them, so I am not counting down these days. These days I will play over and over in my mind, even though now I am exhausted and just want to rest my head on a pillow, I will try and remember that the days are long but the years are short, and God has blessed me with so much. But the radiation days I am counting down, and looking forward to some “normal” days ahead with Chris and my girls. I am rejoicing that by God’s grace I have made it through 15 months of chemotherapy, liver radiation, surgery and now 3 weeks of daily radiation, with only 3 more to go!
So thank you all for your love and prayers,and your care and concern. All of this help allowing us to get through this journey has made all of the difference. We could not be doing it without all of you and the laundry help, meals, babysitting help, rides and countless other ways so many are helping us. So thank you all, and I thank God that He has provided us the way to get though this. It is not easy, but again He did not promise us it would be. But it is possible with Him, and only with Him. May you feel His love and blessings as this Easter season is upon us. May you feel the hope and the joy that is ours because of the empty tomb, He is risen and we are rejoicing! And we are counting down the days to more beautiful days ahead.
Love and God bless, April, Chris, Faith, Savannah Grace, and Isabella Hope (: