Two years ago tonight I sat down to share news from that day that we never in our worst dreams ever thought we would have to share: that the cancer I had found out I had about a month before was terminal cancer. Never in your life can you prepare yourself to hear those words; that what you have cannot be treated because there is no cure, that you have maybe 2 years to live, that you cannot have surgery or certain treatment options because you are not going to be here long enough for it to be worth the pain and trouble of going through. Never can you wrap your mind around the fact that you have to tell your 3 little girls-then 1, 3, and 5, that mommy may not one day soon be there for them to hold and hug and love.
Two years later I am sitting down with a grateful heart, so humbled and thankful that the loving and merciful God I love has chosen to allow our will to be aligned with HIS will-that I be healed here on this earth and have more time here with my husband, children and family. How fitting that it falls on thanksgiving day this year, where we are all forced to look at what we have and be grateful for a little bit more.
Our lives will never again be the same as they were before November 26, 2013, but what Satan intends for evil God uses for good if you let Him, and I am just amazed that He has allowed me to be a witness for Him and the healing power and love that He has for us. I refused to believe what the doctors told me two years ago-not because I didn’t trust them or was in shock (because at times we were) but because I knew what I read in His word was the truth; that Jesus is our healer, that He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. That His love never changes, that He is with us always, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, that by His stripes I am healed. I clung to these words and promises, I etched them into my heart and begged all of you to fall at the feet of Jesus and pray for this miracle that we so desperately needed, for we knew that was the only thing that could save us-Jesus’ miraculous healing power. And I am so humbled and grateful that so many of you did that for us, people we know and love and people we don’t even know and have never met, but who believed along with us in the healing power of our Great God. We will forever be thankful for that, for your faith and belief with us.
It has not been an easy road-weekly chemotherapy, daily radiation, five surgeries and countless doctors appointments is not easy for anyone to handle, let alone someone with small children, but Jesus never told us it would be easy. In fact, in His word He tells us that “in this world you will have troubles, but fear not for I have overcame the world.” God provided all that we needed and more these past couple of years. He has blessed us more abundantly than we could ever have imagined going through this-with help, love, financial assistance, vacations and countless people praying for us and carrying us in their hearts. We are called to walk by faith and not by sight, and this is not an easy thing to do. But it was all that we could do, and it was faith that allowed us to walk on water through the storm. It was faith that allowed us to also praise Him through the storm and be blessed along the way.
Do not let anyone ever tell you that something is not possible, for if it is God’s will anything is possible. We do not know what is God’s will or not, but we can pray that if it is His will it will be granted to us. We may not even understand why some things happen and some things don’t, but one day we will know. And if we can bring glory to Him while we are here and share hope and compassion with others because of something we have gone through then that is a beautiful thing. No one wants to go through the hard times, the pain, the heartache, but sometimes it is during these hard times that we are refined, and that we are brought closest to Him.
So on this Thanksgiving day and season take some time to reflect on all of the blessings God gives to us each and every day. Not just the small ones, but the big ones as well. The beautiful gift of life He came to give each and every one of us, if we would choose to accept it. May you be richly blessed this day, and give to others because He gave to us.
With love and blessings, April